Dear Katarina.

How are you? Are you doing ok?

I know things are too much for you, right now.
And, I know there’s a lot of thoughts running through your head like Fireballs. Your mind is working on overdrive every single day. I know.

You’re tired. You’re angry. You’re sad. You’re trying. You’re failing. You’re broken.
So many things in your life is unfair. Cruel, difficult and it’s starting to take a real toll on you.
It’s not ok…but you will be.

I know you think you can controll the world by the touch of your hands.
That you can keep the whole world you depend on, safe. If you just sleep with one eye open.
And never let anyone close enough to hurt you.
This sort of thinking, will set itself deep inside your body, and will be the doubting voice inside your head, for years to come.
It will be the thoughest war you’ll fight. But trust me, little darling.
It will make you so much stronger, than you ever could dream of being.
It will feel like it’s going to kill you. And to be honest….it almost will.
But you will stand up and fight, against the voices and doubt inside your mind.
Just like you’ve always been told to.  Cause Mama didn’t raise no quiter.

Your thought pattern will turn into a dissorder and you will feel like it’s the end of the world.
It’s not.
You will find the strength inside of you, to find the silver lining in it all. And will use your pain, your sleepless nights and your fighter spirit. To help others, and to be a rolemodel for the ones around you.

You feel like everyone is against you, and that school will end up killing you.
It’s bad. It’s useless. And you feel like no matter how loud you scream on the inside of those four walls. No one in there will ever care enough to look up.
You feel like you’re talking to empty walls, and that no one will ever understand what its like for you. To be called names, to have your things stolen. To have your books flying across the classroom or to be shoved into a wall.  What it’s like to be called fat, EVERYDAY,  and to feel sick to your stomach every single morning. Even on the weekends. Because you know whats coming.

It’s bad.
And it will stay in your mind, for a long time after you leave those school walls behind.
But it will turn you into a fighter. It will make you into an honest and thickskinned woman with an attitude. You will one day be able to say «fuck you»,  to all the ones that now feel like they’re going to kill you with their words.
You will prove to them, to yourself and to the world. That what doesn’t kill you, only makes you stronger, in the end.
Listen to your mothers words. «Don’t get mad. Get even!».
Because those words will keep your heart strong, and will be the words you use to keep your cool, when things become too much.
You will prove to them one day, that a quite little girl can become a powerful voice…all on her own.
Stick with it, stick up for yourself, and don’t give up, little one.
You’ll make it out alive and you will find a way to inspire the world around you.
The school that almost killed you, will need you later on. For things you could never see coming. So keep your head up, smile and laugh at the ones who are dumb enough to pick on, a girl like you.

When they call you, a poor mans daughter and askes you how you could afford that car.
Turn the other cheek. And be glad for your «humble» beginings in life.
Be thankful, that you know what it’s like to have close to nothing.
Because it will turn out to give you lessons, you’ll need more than anything.
It will make you feel humble, when life finally gives you some lemonade.
And will have you thanking god, for letting you have the things you have.


You feel like you need to be like everyone else. Have to have the latest designer bag.
Those new shoes at the mall, or the new powder that they all keep talking about.
I know why you feel it. I know they keep making you think, that if you had all of those things. You would finally be a part of their group.
You wouldn’t.
And to be honest. You’re better off anyway.
Being popular doesn’t make you a better person. It doesnt even make you a good person to start with.
Being a part of their click, isn’t the place for you. Not because you’re not worth it. But because you’re better than that.
You’re ment to do something more, than just be the promqueen and the coolest girl in the schoolyard.

I know you want to walk around like you own the school. Just like they do.
So get up from the concrete, push your nose up to the sky, and walk around that schoolyard like its the catwalk in Milano.
You deserve just as much as she does to walk around like that.
Designer purse or not. Who the fuck cares?!.
Be proud of yourself.
Even if you don’t wear size 0 and don’t have your Daddy’s money to depend on.

Don’t be so afraid to be yourself and to make a fool out of yourself.
You’ll thank me later.

Trust me, It’s not the end of the world, if someone sees you fall over. Or if someone hears what you’re saying to your bestfriend.
Speak up and be proud of the words in your mind.
One day, they will save lives.


Music is your escape. Your safeplace and the only friend, in the times where you feel the most alone.
Keep it close to you, cause it will end up saving your life.
On that lonely fucked up September day, a few years from now. Where you’re so close to the edge, you can feel the ocean underneath you, pull you in. The words to a song, will pull you back up on the cliff and keep you safe. It will make you find the spirit, that you thought you lost at 13.  You will rise up, like a skyscraper.

The ones you think are your friends now. Will not always be there…
Even though you feel like they’re your world…things will change. You will change.
And some will grow up to hurt you. Even if you’ve given them your entire world.
I know that hurts you to hear.
But don’t you worry. You will find friends, that are better than what any teenage drama, could ever throw you.
You will find friends, that will give up all they have, just to hold your hand, when you need them the most. And that will be your rock, when you’re shaking to the core.
They will guide you through the dark and will never ever judge you, even when the rest of the world won’t hasitate to do so.

Remember, Just because you say, «Bestfriends Forever» doesn’t mean «till death do us part».
But you will find someone that will keep a hold on your heart. And that will be the twin sister you never got.
All you have to do is look over to the other side of that filled up schoolyard.


And most of all, little me.

Never lose the one you are… cause you….. You’re pretty damn great.
Be proud of what makes you different and never let anyone judge you for having dreams.
For fighing for yourself and your beliefs.  Or for being your mothers daughter.

You will go on, to do some amazing things. Meet some wonderful people, that will make you glad you didn’t give up.
And most of all. You’ll write a story, you never could have imagined.

You will become a protective big sister. A beyond proud aunt,  and an even prouder daughter, than you are now.
You will get to see your favorite bands,  climb the mountains in your mind, and write pieces that will move the world.
You will change the world, one photo at a time. And you will show everyone, that with a creative mind, nothing is too far out of reach.

I know you think, that you can’t do this.
But trust me.. you can! and you will!

I believe in you, little me.
Now, you start believing in yourself….

Go out there, and show ’em what you’re made of!
You can do this!